FIVE MONTHS of contractions with this kid...for this!

Small Boy: (rather angry) Mom!!!! (sob, sniffle) Why are you even here?

Mama: Considering the life-giving and -sustaining properties of this relationship, would you care to rescind that question?

Small Boy: (foot literally stomps) Aaaahhh! (he retreats to his lair to plot a more subtle form of protest)