Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Sane Advice

The thought process/action/lingering consequence that lead me to discover this truth was certainly an insane one. So I offer this little gift to you all:

Do not use your vacuum cleaner to tidy up after spilling a packet of Kraft's Cheesiest Cheese Powder. It might seem like the best way to get it out of every crevice in your bamboo floor. You may see no alternative to cleanse the knotty bits of your knotty alder cabinets. But do not do it! That smell will never, ever go away. Your house will smell like crappy convenience food every time you clean. And, should you be a super-smeller like me, one day you might just realize that your floors are a mess because you are avoiding that wave of nausea associated with the vacuum. (Damn you Pavlov!)

Plus, you will save yourself the hollow shame of having to put "new vacuum that does not smell of cheese powder" on your list for Santa on Line One which should be reserved exclusively for "little blue box with big white ribbon."

2 comments:

Lorraine said...

Oh Alpha: I had to leave a message on my friend's answering machine. A message regarding the health of her wet/dry vacuum, which she very kindly lent me when Elvis had his Great Disgrace. The message might have contained the phrase "axle-deep in a lake of poo." I am going to Sears to purchase a new Dirt Devil and not to MAxime's to purchase a new diamond tiara. AGAIN.

Alpha Monkey said...

I cannot tell you how many times I have had to dip into my Tiara Fund. Chin up, Love. We could get crafty and MAKE them part of the Scrabble/fireplace/flakey treats/tiara weekend.