Dear Amy,

You do amazing things with my hair.  I don't know if I have told you that.  I had a decent relationship with Bonnie for 10 years, but it ended badly.  (I was happy that she got married and was having a baby, but I couldn't sacrifice my haircut for her happiness.)  I had a couple of stylists in-between, but nothing that felt like it could last.  But you, Amy, I think this could be the real thing.  I don't know how you do it...but I like it.  I am even willing to share you with my friends if you're into that.  That's how much I like you.

You make me a better client.  I am not used to being told what to do, but I know you do it out of genuine affection for my hair.  This is why I have to explain my little misstep to you.  I know I promised not to cut my own hair anymore.  You said that only one of us would be cutting my hair and I had to choose.  I picked you.  And I haven't touched it with scissors for over a year now.  Honestly.  

Let me explain the hat.  I had a bit of a problem this morning.  It really was an accident.  The t-shirt had a little button on it and when I pulled it off it got tangled in my wet hair.  Right in the front.  And I was all alone.  The only other person in the whole neighborhood was Mr. S and I was not going to run next door topless to ask him for help.  I tried to be as gentle as possible with my hair.  But all I could think about was Miss M and her twisting-up-in-a-swing-accident which left a mighty bald spot on the side of her head.  So I sacrificed a bit of length to save the scalp.  At the time it felt like the only option.  I hope you understand and are willing to see past it.  Please cut my hair again.

--Alpha Mama

Dear JR,

Yes, this is another picture of me on the blog.  You asked about my photo-phobic nature and how I am managing.  Here is my secret: digital botox.  Also called "retouch" in iPhoto.  LOVE IT.  You'll have to try it sometime!

--Alpha Mama