Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I feel a hiss coming on...

Someone has sent me an email about aprons.  About all the things they were used for (pot holders and wiping noses and keeping dresses tidy) like they were the dearest items that bound together the home and family instead of an oversized dish towel you tied on so as not to loose it.  It got a little preachy and rather snotty when it came to criticizing young mothers for not wearing aprons anymore and for buying pies.  I am not exactly sure, it was hard to read while my eyes were rolling.  But it has left me wondering about what messy cooks they all must have been because I don't get dirty making dinner.  And also, not everyone can make a good pie.  I have quite recently politely poked at a homemade pie with soggy, pale crust and a jaw-locking amount of sugar in the filling.  No apron would have saved that dessert.  There is no shame in buying pie!

Once in a while there is a chain-letter telling me (and 100,000 other people) how unique and wonderful I am--pass it on!  Some of them are about how great life used to be.  Which seems like an odd thing to send to someone who wasn't around yet when things were so fabulous.  "Look how precious and sweet life was before you were born.  [Sigh]"  It is always nice to hear about how my generation is messing everything up from the people who messed it all up for the generation before them.  Several have had pictures of cats saying things in little speech bubbles.  Sometimes the cats dance.  Or pray.  I guess it makes as much sense as anything else. 

No one seems to care anymore who their audience is.  No one had to buy a stamp to send it so they will just keep rolling into my inbox.  There was a whole rash of anti-liberal-themed ones AFTER the presidential election.  Not trying to change my mind about anything.  Not trying to impact my decision at the voting booth.  Just complaining with a "wait and see" added for good measure.  A sort of "I am telling you now so I can say I told you so later and STILL feel like I am right and you are wrong" tone to them.  But me and my liberal pals have been complaining for the past 8 years so I guess it is their turn.  

Rarely do I forward one along.  If I do, it is usually done with a sarcastic comment or an "lol!" to Moose at work.  But I did forward one to my sister today that my cousin had sent me.  It was about horrible bacteria that will eat your breast flesh if you don't wash your new sweat-shop-made bras before wearing them.  She is still breast feeding a most precious baby and I couldn't bear the thought of the infantina contracting the disease!  Big Sis ran it through some sort of "truth meter" web site which has said the email is a hoax.  (She should run that "dinosaurs were on this planet alongside people and were all killed off by Noah's flood" story through there.)  I still ignored the Dry Clean Only label and put my new Calvin Klien Sweater Dress through the dryer once anyway just to be safe.  I happen to have fantastic boobers and the mere thought of them rotting off my body is enough to make me bathe in Listerine.  I have to find that web site because I have a long list of things to run through it.  I wonder if they have looked at the apron one yet.

P.S. If you are a forwarder...please learn how to highlight and erase the 8 pages of previous recipients and long blanks spaces before sending it along.  I get so impatient searching through them all to find out what those darn cats have gotten into this time.  Thanks.

2 comments:

Jennifer Babbitt said...

Okay, I snopes it after I sent it (unfortunately) and they are pictures of women with advanced breast cancer. I am still absolutely horrified by it and never realized that this is what happens. So sad. I am deeply disturbed by it. Maybe I should resend it with a "get your mammograms every 3 years" type of message.

Alpha Monkey said...

Self check monthly! Or, better yet, have a friend do it!!