Friday, December 10, 2010

Away in a manger...

Driving by holiday light displays is one of my favorite things to do this time of year. I don't go looking for them or anything. I prefer to let providence be my navigator. Which might explain why I get lost all the time. Anyway...

One of my favorite things to do is to write the story that goes along with the particular arrangement of lit figures. Like this:

Herod's Tin Soldiers were steadily advancing on the small stable. Mary could do nothing but watch, listen to the clockwork ticking, and swaddle the baby again and again.

"Stop it Mary, you're making me nervous! Just put the baby in the manger!" said Joseph.

"I'm sorry," she replied. "You know how anxious I get." She set the sleeping babe aside and started biting her cuticles instead.

Joseph was about to charge the field when a band of guerrilla carolers came out of the candy cane forest! "Don't worry, we've got 'em covered, Joe."

Joseph fell to his knees in thanks, bowed his head, and offered them his only weapon, a shepherd's staff. "I pulled this off the last guy who tried to get in here. Take it!"

The carolers, with their music books of death, held the hilly ground around the stable. All they had to do was bide their time and to wait for the ticking to stop. "They have to unwind sooner or later," the leader yelled as he tore another page from the hymnal. Deftly, he folded it into a wedge, cut a few notches, shook it lose, and lobbed another snowflake at the soldiers.

"Do you smell gingerbread?" Mary asked Joseph.

"Not right now Mary. We're in the middle of a battle field here, I don't have time to play along with your neuroses!"

"No! Honestly, I smell it for real. It's getting stronger now..."

Joseph lifted his nose to the air just seconds before the carolers did. They all turned and saw the biggest, glowing gingerbread man they could have imagined! No one was quite sure what to do. Was he friend or foe? For that minute that felt like hours the giant walked steadily over the hill, coming to a stop next to the stable. He placed himself against the corner for stability and turned to face down the tin soldiers. Shouts of relief and renewed energy sprang up from the guerrilla carolers and the couple in the stable. Perhaps this would all work out after all. And just in time, too, as the advancing troops gave no sign that their springs would ever uncoil.

But just as the defenders redoubled their efforts, invigorated by the arrival of that sweet, spicy reinforcement, a new sound jingled down from above. What was that? Everyone stopped and looked up.

Something was falling from the sky...

It landed just feet from the carolers! When the snow settled they could see it was a present, wrapped in glittery paper and tied up with a bow. "Go Go Go!" shouted one of the carolers and they all dove for cover under the slanted roof of the dilapidated stable.

The clouds broke and down from the moonlight sky came the worst thing they could have imagined. A man. A very large man. Dressed all in red, riding in a sleigh pulled by nine demonic reindeer with razor sharp antlers. The one in the lead had a glowing red face as if to just drive the point home. The bearded and bundled man tossed another large gift at the small band huddled together. It hit square on the roof, shaking the flimsy structure.

"Ho Ho Ho!" he laughed as he followed up that direct hit with a series of smaller boxes. Some of them made it through the cracks and openings. A camel was hit. And always, always the tick-tock sound coming closer and closer.

It wouldn't be long now...






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