A few questions for you

Did you know that if you sprout your chickpeas prior to making falafels they are healthier for you and easier to digest? You did? Oh.

Did you know that sprouting them is an activity best attempted under refrigerated conditions? You did? Hmmmm.

Because I just learned both of these things. The second one I will never forget. Because on about day 4 on your counter (even if they are covered and you are changing the water and rinsing daily) they will go punk on you. They will bubble up and smell like your old dog just ate shit and a dead squirrel, let them stew for about half a day, and then vomited the contents of her retching gut upon a pile of rotten fish. Or something similar.

Did you also know that if you pour a full bag's worth of fetid chickpeas in your garbage disposal (even if you run it for a long time, and even if you leave the water running longer) you will essentially make hummus that will work its way just beyond the reach of any layperson's plumbing snake and then re-solidify into a putrid mass? You did? Did you also know about how it will continue to ferment and belch noxious odors into your kitchen until you can bust it up and remove every last trace of funk? This too you knew?

What about the part where if one chooses to do stupid things like this one really ought to consider marrying a plumber next time? Huh.

Well when the hell were you planning on telling me?!