There is one more grade school ritual I should let you know about. Knowing what to expect can be all the difference.
The School Carnival.
It is what it is. No avoiding it. Just like the mom at school with her C-section scarred flabby muffin top hanging out of her tight t and over her low rise jeans. Here are the tricks I have learned to maintain my sanity:
1. Feel free to have a drink before you go but chew two pieces of gum while there. The Boozy Mommy rumors spread faster and thinner than the cafeteria peanut butter.
2. Hold the cotton candy for the kid. Just go with me on this one.
3. The least expensive game in the building plays out like this:
"Honey, did I just see Johnny over there? Let's try to find him."
Now, this is easier if kid has siblings to find that tend to scatter. But it can eat up about 72 cumulative minutes if you play it right. Plus, you get to walk around like you have something to do and no one asks you to help with a booth.
4. Steer the kid toward the games with longer lines, they spend more time waiting and less time obtaining candy and crap prizes.
5. If you are feeling obligated to volunteer for something, take a clean up shift. No, I am not crazy. The other moms are exhausted and not so catty. Plus, and this stays between you and me, the husband can take the sugar filled, over-stimulated children home and put them to bed. Take your time. Sweep slowly.
And oh, those prizes. Here is the list what we came home with last night:
1 bag of skittles
1 blow pop
2 jump ropes
1 baseball hat
1 bandanna
1 of those water filled snake tubes that jumps out of your hands
(Come to think of it...we have all the making for a grown-up carnival a little later!)
Best of luck to you, dear.
1 comment:
Oh dear, I do believe I've already failed the Boozy Mommy thing. I believe what I was told was: "Hey, I hear you drink in the afternoon. Wow."
Maybe they won't ask me to run a booth if they think I am drunk all the time. Here's hoping!
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