Demi Moore and Madonna, thank you for everything. It is the tireless dedication of women like you that brightens up the lives of so many women like me.
College girls who drink too much and buy tiny clothing, what can I say to you? First, I know it is a public health epidemic and all, but I like that you have all gotten softer and rounder lately. I, for one, fully support your drinking and eating habits. Secondly, because of you all, people around here seem to be used to seeing women walking around with compromised large-motor skills. (My bad hip is KILLING me this week!) I am feeling so loved and accepted. Thank you so much for both of these. I really love each and every one of you. Totally. Really.
And especially to my children because when we walk together and I have on sunglasses and no one can see my wrinkles the possibility exists that I might be seen for a brief moment by some near-sighted person who isn't wearing his or her prescription sunglasses as maybe your college-aged nanny (see above).
And finally, to the darling young man who awarded me the ego trip of my 36th year of life. I saw you check me out. Twice. Thank you for the smile. I will always love you! (And um, no...I have not seen your prescription sunglasses anywhere. I am SOOooo drunk! giggle. hic.)
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