I am blatantly using a quote here while I have no idea who the source is. Tut tut. Bad form. I want to guess at Steven Wright or George Carlin but I can't find it online anywhere to confirm. It might have been on a Snapple lid. If you happen to know who said "Maybe your purpose in life is to be the bad example for others" please tell them they are brilliant for me.
Today it was my turn to do something stupid that you all can learn from without the pain and blisters and scarring to go along with it.
I don't know if you know this about me, but I tend to touch hot things after they come out of the oven. I use mitts to remove things, set them on a trivet, and then get distracted and turn around to move them again without the mitts. It has happened often enough that the rest of the inhabitants of our little enclave here remind me frequently about 400 degree glass dishes on the counter. Moose is particularly vigilant. But this little mishap slipped past all of his security measures. But it is not his fault. I wasn't even in the kitchen.
We have a trapezoid shaped edition that was used originally as an orchid greenhouse by the family that built our house. It has glass doors or windows on all four sides. We used it as a playroom when the kidlets were small. They loved shutting the doors and being all secretive while blissfully oblivious to the fact they could be seen from all angles. We called it the kid aquarium.
Now that they don't use the space I have my desk, treadmill, and a couch in there. I am painfully aware of being viewed from all angles so I tend to leave the curtains shut. Anyway, the room has slate floors and the space under it is not heated so it gets very cold in here in the winter. I have a small space heater with a fan to keep it cozy when I am in there working.
[Admit it. You have been thinking, "WTF! The Mama is crazy random today." Stick with me. I'll bring it all home for you.]
I had just finished helping kidlets with homework and Moose was making French Toast for dinner and I was felling a little chilly. So I dropped down in Child's Pose to stretch and warm my back in front of the heater. It was nice and warm. Until I sat up. Then it was red hot! You see, I just lost 8 pounds and my jeans are rather loose and had slid a little low...
All of which is a round about way to tell you I have blisters on my ass! I have a second degree burn the size of my index finger that is centered right above (slight overlap) my bumper cleavage. The good news is I can't feel it yet. The bad news is...hello! I seared my flanks!
I am the bad example. I might even be the take home story from the nurse call line. "Whew! Tonight some lady called in and she burned her butt. I don't know, she claims it was from resting near a heater. I wonder what she was really doing that resulted in a 2nd degree burn back there!"
2 comments:
I have been thinking about the mark this will leave. It runs perpendicular to my stretch marks. If it were parallel it would at least blend in. I was wondering if I could convince a doctor and the insurance company that it would take a full surgical reshaping of my midsection to take care of the disfiguring scar. Yah, I thought not.
I am going to be stuck with it so I am working on a raunchy story to go with it. Something like I was married to Britney for 16 hours in Vegas and all I have to show for it is the scar from the tattoo removal. I'll let you know what I come up with.
All I can say is that I had to pick myself up from the floor from laughing and rolling. Thanks for the GOOD LAUGH[they say we all need one every day!!!!
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