Not the neck, please

Dear Mamas of the world, human and non-human alike: do not hold your babies by the neck.  Actually, this baby was being very sassy that afternoon at the zoo.  And I believe that instinct to want to hold a sassy baby by the neck exists.  But it is pretty base.  At some point back along the evolutionary tree, grabbing a baby by the neck may have kept it alive.  Mamas who could be a little tough had offspring that were more likely to survive by not falling into the tar pit or the open mouth of a crocodile and pass along their DNA.  These offspring were more likely to pick up their babies by the neck for two reasons: they were genetically predisposed to it, and they learned it by having their own necks wrung.  And some of these babies did pass on their learned behavior and their DNA so some of them must have survived their mother's grip.  But humans branched away on that tree and one of the factors that now separates us from the rest of the primates is that our infants are much younger at birth, developmentally speaking.  No wild animal is crazy enough to have such helpless offspring that require such intensive care for so long a period.  Human babies are far less likely to survive the neck-wringing.  Please stop it.  

I saw you at Target today.  I even grinned back by the yogurt because the howling baby and sticky toddler were not in my cart.  Trust me when I tell you that one day you too will see something sweet in the image when your own babies move past that stage.  Even if it is just the sensation of, "thank gooodness that is no longer me!"  You looked tired and all Mama-pajama.  I have been there.  I still have days where I can either brush my hair or my teeth but can't possibly manage both before 8am.  And the reason mamas look like that some days (all you preened, single, short skirt and high heel wearing, low level office workers running in to grab a latte for lunch, I am talking to you) is that there is only so much energy to go around and those days our whole selves are given over to the care of our children.  It is not sustainable everyday.  There are days where my kids have to eat a hot lunch at school they don't care for because mama wanted to brush both her hair and her teeth before taking them to school.  But dear, tired mama at Target today: do not toss a toddler into the back seat of a car.  And when I looked at you and said, "That is not ok," I hope you heard me.  I was not clicking my tongue at something unhealthy in your cart (I have had people do that to me) and I was not making a sour face and looking you up and down (yes, that too). I was hoping to insert a moment in your day where you could look at yourself objectively and recognize the need for a change in your behavior.  At the least, you could drive home with those sticky, noisy, beautiful babies and be irritated with me instead.