Cross-contamination

reposted from www.bakingandtaxidermy.blogspot.com

Liberal Interpretation

If the Unibunny didn't already give it away, this one will.

I am, by any form of measurement, short of stature. Sure, I can give my height in inches (60.5) or centimeters (153.67) to kind of boost the perception of me. But what it comes down to is I am 5 feet tall. It took some time (like, 20 years) for me to recognize that extra half inch does not really matter. At this stage in my life, it is going to disappear soon anyway. The least I can do is start to mentally prepare for it.

There are some advantages to being short. No one asks me to help with tall jobs. Time to arrange canned goods on high shelves? I'm not your gal. Tinsel on the tree? Only if you want the top 1/3 naked. Also, I am a handy tool for estimating. How far away is that rock? About 3 Alphas. Some quick mental math and you know that rock is 15 feet away.

Have you ever been driving down the road and thought the minivan in front of you was driving itself? That was me. The top of my head does not clear the top of the seat. My kids like to pretend they are being chauffeured around by ChittyChitty Bang Bang or that car from Flubber. They have even nicknamed the minivan "Herbie Jr.".

But not today! Today we were running late and I pulled my coat on over my pajamas, went with the slippers, and grabbed one of my kids' hats and we rolled out of the cul-du-sac. Maybe about 1584 Alphas into the trip the 7 year old behind me started laughing.

"Mama, you know how no one behind us can see you driving? Today it looks like the DOG is driving the car!"

Yep. The only parts of the Yeti poking above my headrest were the ears and the furry bit between them.

And the 10 year old offers: "Um...it's like there's a Husky driving us to school!"

Well, at least he got that part right!

Keep Your Options Open

You all know by now how much I adore my friend Lorraine. Well...we are collaborating on a project which you can find here.

Yes, yes, I know it's a little heavy on the taxidermy right now and quite light on the recipes (now you're going to have to click to see what the flup I'm talking about...see what I did there?) but I have a planned segue from the world of stuffed animals to the world of stuffing. Wait for it!

Fox in Sox with Locks on Box

I was just wondering why women put on nice underpinning to go to the OB/GYN. No one is going to see them anyway. When we fold our clothes to put them on the chair we tuck the smaller bits into our pants pockets or purse anyway. Because, ew, what if they fell on the floor?

If you want to make a good impression, put on nice socks.

Make an Impact

Looking at other fun gadgets to entertain you while you visit. Take your pick. The top three are:

Teeth Whitening Tips: I think the guy updates it regularly. But if there were really that many different ways to brighten your smile England wouldn't be the butt of so many oral hygiene jokes. SO I think this one's kind of bunk, but I'll add it if you'd like.

Pictures of Campfires: It might be nice this time of year. Kind of cozy. I could add the MP3 thingy too and play Ella Fitzgerald's Holiday Album all day. Then you could pretend you are sitting in my living room because that is kind of what this cold weather has reduced me to. I stay in my pajamas all day in front of the fire place surrounded by 3 dogs and a laptop playing Pandora to warm me. (Truth: I sleep in warm clothes, so it isn't as bad as it sounds.)

Flash Pinball: I was afraid to click on this one. World Wide Web + the word FLASH = nothing good.

Dear Santa,

For Christmas this year, Little C wants 48 crayons, clothing, and a back scratcher.

Having some trouble deciphering this list. It either means his basic needs are not being met...or he has all he needs and simple things bring him pleasure.

Since he did not ask for any non-perishable food items, I'm going with the latter.

Xtrafun

I have been wasting my afternoon on Xtranormal.

If you are in need of some Friendly Advice you should clink the link and check it out. If you have no interest in almost 5 minutes of oddity and inside jokes I made for Lorraine then I do not recommend clicking. But if you like baking and taxidermy it might be worth your while.

Interesting fact for the day

I am feeling mildly amused that Mistletoe is both parasitic and poisonous...