Advice for the teenage girl

I have done it again.  I have volunteered for a huge project.  I am making the costumes for the ballet that Miss M is in in a few weeks.  It is going smoothly, but costumes for about 40 dancers takes time.  Even when most of them are tiny.

Some of them are for the older dancers.  Part of what I did after planning the costumes with the director was to measure and ask the girls for their opinions on one of two options for the gown.  And here is what I recognized:

Teenage girls are afraid to give an opinion that differs from the group.  Here were 5 confident, talented, beautiful girls and as soon as I asked which style dress they preferred they said nothing.  It was not that they didn't like either option, they just didn't want to raise their right hand if everyone else might be inclined to raise their left.  I am sure I lived through that when I was a teenager.  I don't remember it very clearly.  But I think that is because it is hard to see when you are living it, all anxious and wanting to fit in.  As an adult looking in, however, it was like someone lit a narrow spot light on a darkened stage and then suddenly spun it to the audience and blinded me!

Accept that this is a phase we all grow through.  My hope for my own daughter is that her time in such a setting is short lived.  And my advice is this girls: if you are the first one to speak in that situation you will be right.  Yours will be the opinion they all adopt.  Because it is not about preferences at that point.  If there were any strong preferences there would not be this stand-still.  It is about not being different.  In a way, you will be easing the tension because they can all stop fretting over the choices and just agree with you.  Set the trend, ladies.  

Book Quote

I finally talked Miss M into reading Jane Eyre.  I love that book.  I love the classic orphan tale mixed with some gothic mystery with themes of home and redemption and rebirth.  But after her great sadness over Beth's death in Little Women Miss M is still not quite sure she trusts me (it has only been 2 years!).

It turns out she is really enjoying it.  Miss M has also enjoyed finding the quotes throughout the book from my 3x5s.  What?  You don't keep 3x5 note cards tucked into books scribbled all over with quotes and page numbers from the book?  Well you should.  Not every book gets one.  Some books, like Jane Eyre, get more than one.  My very favorite quote and now also Miss M's motto:

"She soon forgot her little freaks and became obedient and teachable."

...or at least willing to read her mother's book selections!

Typical Sunday morning

Moose got up with the kids today and started breakfast while they watched a couple of cartoons.  When it was time to eat Moose announced, "Belgian Waffles!"  Which the kids quickly turned into "Belching Waffles" complete with sound effects.

I fear the nice Sunday Brunch Buffet we occasionally attend will never be the same.  

How have I never read this book?

Dr. Fancypants gave me a copy of Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt.  I know it was a movie several years ago.  I did not see it either.

I love children's literature.  I love a simple story told truthfully and beautifully.  I like characters who get into trouble.  I melt into the pages of a skilled writer.  Just listen to this:

"Closing the gate on her oldest fears as she had closed the gate on her own fenced yard, she discovered the wings she'd always wished she had.  And all at once she was elated.  Where were the terrors she'd been told she should expect?   She could not recognize them anywhere.  The sweet earth opened out its wide four corners to her like the petals of a flower ready to be picked, and it shimmered with light and possibility till she was dizzy with it."

Thank you, Dr. Fancypants.

 

I am at a loss

Anyone who really knows me knows that I LOVE Ella and Sarah and Etta and Billie and Eartha.  And I mean no disrespect to you Ms. James, but sweetheart you should filter your comments to the press through your son.

I am not so interested in her recent comments as I am fascinated by the comments posted online about her comments.  My favorite one of all was someone ranting about how Beyonce behaved like a porn star on stage during the inauguration and that Etta is a better role model for our children.  WTF?  Decades of heroin addiction, multiple marriages, a tendency to run off a bit at the mouth, a legendary pain to work with...Etta James' past behavior rivals the Brittneys and Lindseys of our time.  And that Diva did it the old fashioned way without a MySpace page or video cameras peeking around every corner.

But it makes me think of the whole "role model" thing people get so freaked out about.  Like the whole thing with Michael Phelps right now.  Being a flawed person or making a poor choice makes you no less a talent.  How about we stop holding up strangers as examples for our children?  How about we decide to parent them by being the best examples we can be for them.  Phelps is a great opportunity to discuss drugs with our kids.  He is a model swimmer--not a role model.  We might even consider having a conversation with our children about the flawed moral reasoning involved in choosing a role model based on income, PR, and ad campaigns.  The only person who has a right to feel betrayed by Michael's behavior is his mother.  And maybe his publicist who will be loosing tons of money...but of course he made tons of money off of him already so that one kind of balances out don't you think?

My favorite is when each new Disney star is held up as the best thing ever and then eventually "falls" and everyone acts all shocked and betrayed.  Miley Cyrus is a child!  You don't get to be a role model by being on TV.  You are simply a TV star.  What put you in the position of being looked at as a role model are the parents who buy their kid everything with your name on it in the first place.

But I am still laughing out loud about Etta James serving as a role model in any capacity other than as a phenomenal vocal talent.  Now, Eartha Kitt, that Woman deserves to be looked at as a role model.  She suffered professionally and personally when she took an anti-war stance during the Vietnam War.  She had a very difficult childhood and rose up from it rather than being dragged down by it.  She was unapologetic for standing up for what she knew to be right.  She saw the issue of same-sex marriages as a matter of Civil Rights that should be afforded to everyone.  She also saw the arts as a way to help young people overcome a hard situation and looked to education and beauty as a means to both inspire children to be more and give them the tools to get there.  What a loss this past Christmas day when she passed.

Olly Has a Bath

Apparently all of his fluff is just a disguise. Underneath it all he is a scrawny hound. Nice cover, in a witness protection program kind of way. Highly effective. So effective, in fact, that the kids were laughing and asking who the skinny dog in the shower was. (I was in no way offended, as there was no chance they meant me!)

The following are in chronological order. Thanks to Miss M for the shower shots, since I was in my swimsuit and as soggy and dejected looking as the dog at the time!

I'm all out of capers

I am afraid I haven't had an Organic Wild Caper in years.  

They have ben more structured and tame and not so...Caperish.  Hardly even adventures, really.